Love Me, Lauren Read online

  Copyright © 2019 by Elle Linder

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, without prior written permission.

  Elle Linder/Ocean Dreams Publishing

  17976 120th Ave NE

  Thief River Falls, MN 56701

  www.ellelinder.com

  Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

  Book Layout © 2016 BookDesignTemplates.com

  Love Me, Lauren/Elle Linder -- 1st ed.

  A Faithful Falls Series Book

  ISBN 978-1-7324944-8-0 print format

  ISBN 978-1-7331724-0-0 eBook format

  ALSO FROM ELLE LINDER

  The One That Matters

  From the Love Transcends Series:

  Redemptive Love

  Prevailing Love

  Guarded Love

  Faithful Falls Series

  Stay With Me, Julia

  To my grandpa Manuel, the most giving man I know. I watched you work my whole life tirelessly, fixing anything that needed fixing and not even cancer could keep you down—until the good Lord called home. You always put your family first and loved us unconditionally. I will bust my ass, tirelessly writing for you.

  I love you, Gramps. I raise my shot of tequila in honor of you.

  ¡Salud!

  Until we meet again...

  May 5, 1927-February 22, 2019

  Acknowledgements

  First of all, I would like to thank my editor, Charlie, whose continued support, guidance, and absolute love of my characters keeps me encouraged to reach the finish line. Without Charlie’s insight and support, this story would have been just all right instead of fantastic!

  I would also like to thank my proofreader, who always is teaching me new things about this funny English language I write in. I am learning so much from you, Emily.

  And to my Tias…thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, for your undying support and encouragement…and the anxious looks, waiting with bated breath for the next book. Coming soon, Tias!

  Last but certainly not least to my patient, understand and supportive husband and kiddos. You guys are the very best cheerleaders on the planet. It means the world to me to have you in my corner, and I love you all very much!

  Love Me, Lauren

  Choosing to Change

  Shameful and Disgraceful

  Julia’s Lumberjack and the Ring

  Mending Fences

  A Drink and a Song

  Progress

  Introductions

  A Dance and a Kiss

  A Family

  Pancakes and Irritation

  A Perfect Ten

  A Longing for More

  He Trusted Her

  An Unforgivable Mistake

  Why-How-Why?

  A Fresh Start

  It Is You

  The It-Factor

  Renee, Renee, Renee

  Something in the Air

  Goodbye, Alaska

  Secrets Revealed

  Timing Is Everything

  Pinky Promise

  Love Me Slowly

  A Perfect Team

  I Need Her

  Mother Knows Best

  It’s Always Alaska

  Meant for Each Other

  Postponed

  Mission Impossible

  Foot in Mouth

  A Chosen Life

  Azure Inn and Spa

  Caught, Cuffed, Cleaned-Up

  Home Sweet Home

  Ready for Forever

  About The Author

  one

  Choosing to Change

  Loneliness and vodka were a wicked combination, notorious for leading Lauren into a valley of bad choices. Loneliness made her stir crazy while vodka, as it did for many, numbed her emotions. Put the two together in a nightclub with strobing lights, gyrating bodies, and Lady Gaga belting out “Poker Face,” and it could only mean one thing: one-night stand.

  Lauren blinked her eyes open. The warm hand on her thigh repulsed her. She lay still and tried to decide how to deal with it. Why hadn’t some science geek invented time travel? Probably for the same reason she’d never learned moderation—it simply did not exist in her lifetime.

  As she tried to roll out of bed without waking her bedmate, her long hair stopped her. She tugged on it firmly but carefully so as to not stir the naked man. This was the first time in her life she wished she had a pixie cut. Better yet, a shaved head.

  Mr. Hands groaned, turning toward the window and away from Lauren. She froze, sending up a silent prayer of thanks to anyone listening that he hadn’t woken up.

  Continuing her escape, she slipped off the bed and tiptoed out of the bedroom, softly closing the door behind her. A shiver of disgust rippled through her, the cold air hitting her bare body and making the entire situation worse. She ducked into her bathroom and pulled her bathrobe off the back of the door, slipping it on and tying a firm knot with the belt.

  What have I done?

  Not long after she had absconded her bedroom and exited the bathroom, she was staring at the Audrey Hepburn painting above the fireplace mantel in her apartment. If she were sitting next to Audrey, what would she say?

  Over the last four years, Lauren and Julia had each looked up at the well-known classic image of Audrey: hair in a French twist, a long cigarette in hand, dressed in the classic LBD from Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

  Dozens of times, they had waited with bated breath for Audrey to speak. To enlighten them with her wisdom.

  It never happened.

  If only Audrey’s spirit lived in the picture, maybe Lauren wouldn’t have screwed up so badly. After all, Audrey Hepburn was the queen of class. No other person held a candle to her in Lauren’s mind. She admired everything about Audrey, everything. Her philanthropic heart, her fashion sense, her mesmerizing eyes, and her wisdom about life, love, and happiness.

  In many ways, the altruistic Julia Greene reminded Lauren of Audrey. Both women were beautiful on the inside and out. Tenderhearted and enchanting in the way they dealt with people. Soft-spoken, charmingly witty, adorable.

  Those character traits were a stark contrast to Lauren’s rough, brash, and sarcastic ways.

  But after last night, there was no question Audrey and Julia would have some choice words, advice, and thoughts for her. Thoughts Lauren had refused to listen to—until now. She imagined their words floating out of them in a soft, airy manner, delicately woven together, one after another while pummeling her with kid gloves. And she wouldn’t be able to tell the women apart.

  “Are you insane?”

  “When are going to learn what vodka does to you?”

  “You always screw someone at the end of the night when you’re wearing that black leather skirt.”

  “Until you love yourself, you can’t love another. Open your heart, dear girl.”

  Lauren had finally hit rock bottom. Or more like collapsed onto the pavement.

  The charismatic duo in her mind would have lectured about the dangers of drinking and bringing strange men home on a whim. But a whim for Lauren meant no expectations or emotions. A whim she could forget within a day…but not this time.

  Is it too late to rewind the last twelve hours?

  Movement from her bedroom made her body go rigid. A loud groan turned her stomach like the Zipper at the county fair.

  Lauren swallowed hard, eyeing her bedroom door from the sofa. Sour acid inched into her throat as she nervously waited for him
to exit the room. The events that had led to this moment were proof that she hadn’t grasped adulting.

  Tsk, tsk, tsk echoed in her head. She could identify the voice this time. And it wasn’t the charming and eloquent Audrey but Julia she heard.

  The door opened and Lauren sucked in a deep breath as her heart stopped.

  Trent Overton waltzed out wearing hideous Kelly green and white striped boxers. He should have been embarrassed; instead he sported them proudly, like a medal of honor. His disheveled brown hair and sated smile set off her gag reflex. Audrey would have choked on her coffee and, once she regrouped, said in a calm voice, “Nice job sleeping with your bestie’s pathetic ex.”

  Tsk, tsk, tsk, echoed once again in her head, but this time it was Audrey.

  “Morning, beautiful,” Trent said as if this were a normal occurrence.

  “Oh, God. Wipe that fucking grin off your face! Coffee’s in the kitchen.” Lauren sank into the couch, but it didn’t swallow her up as she had hoped. And there wasn’t a nearby rock to die under.

  “Thanks.”

  “Yeah, and while you’re in there, feel free to end all of this with a carving knife plowed straight through your gut!” Lauren hollered. Or should it be her gut? No, it should be Trent’s.

  In a relaxed state and looking right at home, he shuffled out of the kitchen, whistling a tune she didn’t recognize with a steaming mug of coffee in hand.

  Gut me now.

  Lauren wrapped her favorite aqua knit blanket tightly around her small frame. The blanket was one her mom had sent in March, a Paige Porter package of the month. She often sent gifts out of the blue. Never expensive ones, but they always arrived with the same little note: Just thinking about you, Renny.

  Lauren dropped her chin to her chest, bearing the weight of her guilt.

  Trent stopped behind her and kissed the top of her head. “Have you been up long?”

  “Stop it!” She jerked away from him. “This is not happening. Drink your coffee, collect your things, and get out!” How dare he act as if they were a couple?

  Despite his successful marketing career, Trent was dumber than a box of rocks and a lifelong playboy. The kind who’d show up in Florida during spring break at the ripe old age of forty with a death grip on the hope of bedding as many drunk girls as possible.

  Lauren shivered. The yuck factor was abhorrent. How could she have let him bed her?

  “Always the drama queen, aren’t you?” He smirked and sat down in the chair across from her. Good thing he had the sense to keep his distance now. Otherwise, she might have kicked him in the face.

  “Go to hell, Trent!”

  “Relax.” He flashed his baby blues at her over the rim of his mug, slowly swallowing his coffee. “I don’t see the problem. And I know for a fact that last night you didn’t see a problem in bringing me home either.”

  “You can’t be serious! I was drunk.” She looked sidelong up at Audrey, feeling the gaze of her idol making her guilt swell. But not that drunk. “Julia will lose it when I tell her. Oh, God, Julia.” Lauren’s head dropped to her knees, which were tucked into her chest. What would Julia say?

  “Julia won’t care. Tell her, don’t tell her, I don’t give a shit. She has her stupid lumberjack,” Trent spat, disdain dripping from his voice.

  Lauren lifted her head, floored by his admission. “You still love her.” It wasn’t a question. The jealousy in his eyes told her he did. This was getting worse by the second.

  “No, I don’t.” He took a sip of coffee, but his deflection didn’t hide the sadness in his eyes.

  “Oh my God! You do! You still love Julia! What the hell, Trent? Was last night about getting back at her? You used me!” Had Trent been a stranger, being used wouldn’t have bothered her. She used men too. But the yucky feeling in her gut of being used by someone she knew felt incredibly disrespectful. They knew each other. They had been friendly to each other before he’d cheated on Julia. She’d hated him afterward. Now the words “Sleeping With the Enemy” glared like a neon sign in her head.

  Why did she care? A fuck was, a fuck, right?

  Not when it was your bestie’s ex. What she was feeling had to be regret…and shame.

  “I didn’t use you.” He moved to the sofa, took her hand, and kissed it softly. “You’re a beautiful, sexy woman. I’m not blind. Admit it, there’s always been something between us. Even when Julia and I were together, you felt something for me.”

  “Only disgust!” She whipped her hand back. “This was a monumental—no, a gruesome mistake. You need to leave.”

  “It wasn’t a mistake. I’d call it fate the way we literally bumped into each other on the dance floor.” He chuckled, standing from the couch with his partner in crime peeking out the window of his boxers. “Let me fix you breakfast.”

  Lauren violently shook her head at his insane offer. “You need to leave. Now!” Images of Julia raging over being betrayed flashed before her eyes. “This should have never happened! Just leave!”

  “Okay, but this isn’t over.” Trent set the mug down on the table and disappeared into the bedroom. Minutes later, he was gone, but his words were seared in Lauren’s memory: She has her stupid lumberjack.

  Trent loved Julia.

  It didn’t surprise her, but she didn’t like being used. That was her mother’s lot in life, and it wouldn’t be hers.

  Lauren lifted the blanket up to her nose, inhaling the Downy-fresh scent. It didn’t soothe her like usual, nor did her long golden locks softly caress her cheeks. Renny swirled through her head.

  Renny, Renny, Renny.

  Lauren scratched the top of her head, fluffing her hair. She could hear her mother’s tart voice as she shook her head, keeping her eyes downcast. She’d always hated being called Renny.

  Only her mother would think a ridiculous nickname, pet name, or whatever a dorky name like Renny was would be “cute” to call her child instead of her birth name. If it had ever been cute, she had latched onto it like a leech and sucked the cute right out of it. But all Lauren could do was accept the name or suffer the consequences of disappointing her mom, who could dissolve into a puddle of tears in an instant.

  Her mom was the original drama queen in Lauren’s opinion, and part of the reason her dad had left them. Her mother’s cry-on-demand skills were not for the faint of heart. One by one, people exited her life after having enough of it, including Lauren’s father, Wes, who had one day decided he couldn’t deal with Paige’s melodrama anymore and left Lauren to bear the brunt of keeping her happy.

  On the bright side, at least her mom hadn’t named her Pacifica or Croissant after two of her favorite things all because she thought they sounded regal.

  Pacifica Daniels, it does have a nice ring to it. Lauren snorted at the thought, looking at Audrey again. Her gaze magically seemed to become disapproving…or maybe it was her imagination. Her heart sank.

  How could she have slept with Trent? What kind of friend did that, ex-boyfriend or not?

  A lousy, selfish, uncontrolled friend.

  A shitty friend.

  Renny Daniels, daughter of Paige Porter and Wes Daniels, recipient of their imbecilic genes.

  A series of texts dinged from her cell phone on the coffee table, waking her out of her shameful trance. Trent? She reached for it, ready to throw the evil device at the fireplace if Trent was harassing her from the parking lot. But it wasn’t him.

  Tears stung her eyes. Julia.

  Julia: SOS!!!

  Julia: Luke mentioned setting a wedding date last night during movie night with the kids!

  Julia: The kids sided with him and ganged up on me! The little stinkers!

  Julia: He’s wearing me down. What do I do?

  Lauren stared at the screen as a lone tear rolled down her face. For the last several months, a string of SOS texts would appear when Luke attempted to nail down a date. And each time, Julia went into panic mode.

  Love sure seemed to be complicated.

&n
bsp; Better for Julia to be caught up in the mix of it than her.

  Someone like Julia wanted marriage and children, and with Luke—her sexy, devoted lumberjack—she wanted it more than anything. But his ex-wife Renee kept Julia from walking down the aisle and making a promise of forever. It wasn’t for a lack of love on Julia’s part. Julia loved Luke with all her heart, and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. But fear paralyzed her from saying I do. Fear of calls in the middle of the night from Renee, and fear of Luke rushing off to Alaska at a moment’s notice to tend to his “first family.”

  The whole thing was perplexing. There wasn’t much that scared Julia; she could handle most situations with poise and confidence, like Audrey. But when it came to Renee, it was as if she had entered the Hunger Games, fully unprepared for the emotional onslaught that would tear her down, weakening her resolve for a life with Luke.

  Add in Luke’s two kids, Heather and Brice, and Julia was prepared to forfeit the game to spare the children. She didn’t want to battle for Luke’s attention, nor did she want to distract him from his kids. She wouldn’t fight to the death with Renee, who had betrayed Luke by sleeping with his best friend, Rick, and having his child.

  Julia had told Lauren once that real love was sacrificial and that was why she refused to set a date. She wanted to protect Luke from being stuck in the middle of her and the meddling Renee. Just because fate had brought them together didn’t mean they were destined to have a life together. At least not yet.

  But Lauren saw it all differently. If it hadn’t been for Renee’s infidelity, Julia would have never met the love of her life. So maybe it wasn’t a fairy-tale story of two people meeting, untarnished and free to love without any baggage. Didn’t everyone have a skeleton or two in the closet? Meeting earlier would have been too early given their eleven-year age difference. Their story had to turn out the way it had, Renee and kids included, or else there wouldn’t be a story.