Love Me, Lauren Read online

  At least Julia had a man who adored her with all his heart. A man who would love her for all of eternity. She had won the game along with Luke’s heart. If only she wasn’t so self-sacrificing and would claim what was rightfully hers, once and for all.

  To Lauren, it was that simple. Julia had a devoted, trustworthy man; it was a modern-day fairy-tale.

  Lauren’s phone dinged again. She sighed, heavyhearted.

  Julia: Hello? Are you there? I need you!!!

  Lauren: For the love of brownies, set the date already. You know you want to marry him.

  Julia: I do. So much.

  Lauren: Then what’s the problem?

  Julia: I’m scared. What if I suck at being a wife and a stepmom? And then there’s his unstable ex-wife!! I can be jealous, you know. I won’t share him! Ugh. I’m a horrible person.

  Lauren: You’re not horrible! Forget Renee. You’re going to rock being a wife and step-mom! Your lumberjack is crazy in love with you. Make his lifetime and marry the poor chump.

  Julia: Aww, you do like him! GTG! He’s here for our morning tryst!!! TTYL

  Lauren giggled softly, setting the phone back on the coffee table. She did like Luke, a lot. And the stories Julia shared about her trysts with Luke were erotically romantic. Quickies in his cabin, her suite, his truck, the resort’s linen closet, and Julia’s office. Lauren envied the amount of sex they had, but a relationship like theirs came at a high price.

  Gratuitous amounts of sex she would welcome, but Julia and Luke also supported each other emotionally. Lauren believed they would walk through fire for each other, walk to the ends of the earth, and they would never abandon the other during times of distress. They were utterly devoted and disgustingly in love.

  Luke’s kids added another layer to their love affair. They’d moved in with him several months ago when their mother went into rehab for drug addiction. Having the kids full time had forced them to get creative with their intimacy, and so, their morning trysts were born.

  Julia had once said, “Loving Luke is the greatest gift I’ve ever received.”

  Who calls loving another person a gift?

  Notwithstanding Julia’s heartwarming declaration, she had shocked Lauren and Luke when she stuck to her guns about not living with him before they were married since the kids were there. Yet she wouldn’t set a date.

  Most men would have blown a fuse, but not Luke. The rough and tough mountain man had met his match, his soulmate, and Lauren knew he would wait however long it took to marry Julia. Julia had struck gold with him when their lives collided one winter's night this past January. It had to have been fate that brought them together, and now, as they say, the rest was history.

  Julia and Luke were committed for life.

  Committed for life scared the bejeezus out of Lauren.

  Another tear rolled down her cheek as the weight of her wrongdoings kept her immobile on the couch. The July sun streamed in through the sheers on her sliding glass door, warming her as if it knew she needed a hug.

  What am I supposed do about Trent?

  Despite his arrogant assumptions, she didn’t give a damn about him. Loneliness had driven her to the club last night. She might have slept with any man, but Julia’s cunning ex had happened to be at the right place and the right time, along with too much vodka. Lauren had given into his advances upon bringing him home.

  Drunkenness was of the devil, as Julia would say, because fate wouldn’t be so cruel to throw her and Trent together.

  Or maybe fate had a twisted sense of humor?

  two

  Shameful and Disgraceful

  The time had come to do the disgusting job of removing any and all traces of Trent from her apartment. Lauren peeled herself off the couch, laid the blanket down, and shuffled to her room.

  A flush of embarrassment radiated over her as she stood in the doorway. Her room looked like her old college dorm room, before the ever-responsible and stable Julia had become her roommate. Clothes were scattered everywhere, the comforter lay in a crumpled pile at the foot of the bed, and multiple condom wrappers mocked her from the floor.

  Trent wasn’t even a good lay.

  An empty bottle of vodka and two glasses were perched on the nightstand. In a fit, she stripped the sheets off the bed, appalled by the redundant act. Always alone to do the cleanup after a night of sex.

  Wasn’t that how she wanted it?

  Lauren plopped onto the bed, overwhelmed by the silence. Did she really care one way or the other?

  All the years she had preached about never committing to anyone, that the single life was the best life…had it all been lies? Maybe so. Definitely so. She always did have the best poker face, even when staring at herself in the mirror.

  After she tossed the sheets into the wash, she collected the condom wrappers and threw them into the trash along with the vodka bottle. Now with all the physical evidence of Trent removed, it was time to wash him off her body. A long, scalding-hot shower to scorch her skin should do the trick. Maybe it would even wash away her regret. But could it wash away her loneliness too?

  Or make her forget the night altogether?

  Probably not. That might take more than second-degree burns.

  There was no denying the truth any longer. Lauren needed—no, she wanted—more than one stupid, vodka-laced hookup. And never with Trent. He didn’t have the it-factor. Nor did any man she had met previously really. Julia’s words rang in her head: “If you don’t give a guy a chance, how will you ever know if he has the it-factor?”

  Her answer never changed: “I’ll just know.”

  Showered and sanitized of all remnants of Trent, Lauren grabbed her handbag to head to the inn. An evening engagement party was scheduled for six.

  Oh, joy. A celebration to commemorate the planning of two people embarking on a trip down the aisle, where they would willingly vow to love each other forever.

  At the very least, the event would distract her for the next several hours so she wouldn’t wallow in self-loathing thoughts.

  She did a once-over of her room. This wasn’t the life she wanted anymore. Now that Julia was in Idaho and engaged to her lumberjack, the quiet swallowed Lauren, like it had last night. She could feel the walls closing in and her claustrophobic tendencies unfolding.

  She rolled her eyes in disgust and bolted for the door, down the stairs to her car.

  On her way to the inn, she swung into Taco Bell, her guilty pleasure. Nothing like a cheesy and greasy Gordita Crunch to mask her guilt. She munched away with the radio blaring, but nothing distracted her from her thoughts. Nothing would wash away her remorse. Not the gorgeous sunny July day, the convertible of hunky guys eyeing her, or the cup of ice-cold Mountain Dew between her legs, cooling her thighs.

  If she had time, she would swing into a Circle K for BBQ Corn Nuts and an Almond Joy.

  Maybe on the way home.

  In the parking lot of the inn, Lauren finished off her drink. She dug out her tinted lip gloss. One swipe of her top lip and one on her bottom completed her preening. Two Altoids later, she was ready to enter the Azure Inn and Spa.

  The inn was quiet, as was expected in the hours before an event, but the echoing of her clacking stilettos on the stone tile floors made her cringe as an elderly couple looked her way.

  “Good afternoon, Teri,” she said, greeting the assistant manager.

  “Hey there. Everything is ready for the Montgomery-Steele event. And Julia called checking in.”

  “Of course she did.” Lauren laughed. Julia never forgot an event, nor had she totally abandoned Lauren to run the inn and spa alone after deciding to stay in Idaho. “And what else did our dear Julia have to say?”

  “Only that she missed everyone and would try to be out for a visit before the end of summer.”

  “What? Really?”

  “What’s the matter? Don’t you want her to come out?” Teri pushed her hip out, placing her hand on it. She had been a mother figure to both Lauren a
nd Julia, but for a fifty-year-old, she looked more like their sister. Fit, trim, and not a single grey hair, Teri was stunning. “You seemed off when you walked in. What’s up, kiddo?”

  There it was. Kiddo. Teri had her mom hat on. She’d likely smelled Lauren’s guilt the second she walked through the glass doors.

  “Nothing! She just hadn’t mentioned anything to me.” Lauren scurried into her office, Teri following. “Seriously, everything is fine. I’m glad Julia is coming out. It’s about freaking time!”

  Teri eyed her suspiciously. “There’s something else going on. I can see it in your eyes.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Teri, drop it. Nothing’s going on.” Maybe if she acted irritable, Teri would leave her alone; nobody liked to be around her when she was a bitch.

  “Then why did Trent call here?”

  Lauren’s heart stopped. “When?” If he’d mentioned last night to Teri, she would kill him.

  “Five minutes before you walked in. He asked for you. When I told him you weren’t here, he wanted me to tell you he called.”

  “Okay, thanks for the message,” she said in an indifferent tone, trying to deflect. “I’ve compiled a list of things I want you to do while I’m in Idaho next weekend. When do you want to go over them?” Cue poker face.

  Except, Teri could never be fooled.

  “Lauren, when you’re ready, I’m here for you.”

  “Honestly, he’s probably wanting to talk about Julia for the millionth time. He’ll pine for her until he’s stone-cold in the ground.” Poor Julia. Lauren had always felt that Trent saw her as the perfect trophy wife. The fact that she was financially independent was a major plus. Trent wouldn’t have to support her.

  A fury sparked in her, then nausea. How could she have slept with him?

  “I knew it!” Teri yelled triumphantly.

  “What?” Lauren cocked her head in frustration. “What do you know?” Internally she cringed at her sarcastic tone and feared Teri noticed.

  Teri was an observant person, “a people watcher” she liked to call herself, and in moments like this when Lauren’s defenses weren’t at their optimal, Teri could read right through her.

  “Deflect all you want, but anytime you mention death, you’re feeling guilty about something. Now tell me, what does the dull, guilty look in your beautiful baby blues have to do with Trent?”

  Son of a dead man skewered like a pig at a luau. Crap!

  As Lauren pondered a response, the entrance door rang. Saved by the bell.

  “We aren’t through here,” Teri warned as she exited Lauren’s office.

  “The hell we aren’t,” she muttered under her breath. “I’m the boss for fuck’s sake. Discussion over, that’s all folks, end of story.” She waved her hand in a “Z” with attitude even though she was alone.

  But Teri had it right, and Lauren knew it. She had spent a lot of her life deflecting to hide her real emotions. Playing the tough girl with a heart of steel was all a masquerade, an act she sucked at but would hold tight to because her life depended on it.

  Her heart was more fragile than she’d ever let on.

  At the inn, Julia had always expected the employees to be professional. Talking about personal affairs and drama at home hadn’t happened at Azure Inn and Spa. In fact, Julia had reminded the staff regularly, “Our clientele requires the utmost professional and poised environment. We will not be ridiculous or blabbermouths.” Even now, Lauren’s heart raced recalling the tone in Julia’s voice. She never yelled. Still, it was scary calm yet commanding. Lauren had tried to be more like her with the staff and did okay with everyone except Teri.

  When Julia had decided to stay in Idaho, Lauren had struggled tremendously, and Teri had stepped up to fill the void Julia left in Lauren’s life. Now it seemed that all the time Lauren and Teri spent together would bite her in the ass. Late nights at the inn, working dinners, a concert here and there, shopping and girl-talk had brought them closer together, and a friendship had developed.

  Teri knew Lauren on a personal level, and being the ever-observant and intuitive woman, she would have Lauren at her mercy. Teri would finagle the truth out of her…and then what?

  If Lauren admitted to sleeping with Trent, what would Teri think of her? Suddenly, she found herself stricken with even more guilt. One way or another, she would avoid having the conversation with Teri. And in four days, she would be off to Idaho for Brice’s tenth birthday celebration, so she only had to last that long.

  But what about Julia? Could she make it through the visit without confessing? And if she couldn’t, would her bestie be able to forgive her? With Luke in the picture and the love between them, this minor offense shouldn’t be a big deal. Right?

  “Maybe we’ll commiserate over how awful Trent is in bed,” she mused. “A couple of girls giggling about Trent Overton, and maybe bygones will be bygones.”

  She could hope anyway.

  As tasteless as it had been for her to sleep with Trent—and tasteless was putting it mildly, she knew—Julia had Luke, her Greek god as Lauren liked to call him. Would Julia really see this as a betrayal? Not likely. Julia was the most forgiving person. Down deep, Lauren was confident Julia wouldn’t give a flying fuck about Trent. She would be more concerned as to why Lauren would get drunk and risk her safety by bringing a man home.

  Once again, the only person she had betrayed was herself.

  three

  Julia’s Lumberjack and the Ring

  In total bliss with her sexy lumberjack spooning her, Julia’s skin tingled with the heat from Luke’s finger gliding up her thigh, over her stomach, and ending at her lips. She scraped the tip of his finger with her teeth, melting into his muscular arms. A low groan from his throat flowed into her ear and made her shiver.

  In a postcoital haze of impish glee, she smiled warmly.

  “I love our Sunday mornings together. Just you and me, skin to skin, your heart beating against my back and your lips on my neck. It’s all I need. You’re all I need.”

  “Marry me, Julia,” he whispered, nibbling her earlobe.

  “Luke, you know—” Before she could finish her sentence, she was on her back and staring into the pleading eyes of her strong, magnificent man. “You know I love you more than anything, and I will marry you.”

  “When? You haven’t even put the ring back on. I’ve been patient, baby. I’m trying to not pressure you, but give me something to look forward to.”

  So much for total bliss. Now guilt filled every corner of her insides. Her engagement ring had been tucked away in the suite’s safe for the last few months. Fear kept it there. Julia was convinced that the second she put it back on Renee would steal her joy, even with Luke’s constant reassurance that Renee would not come between them.

  But Julia didn’t budge, clinging to hope with a death grip that by the end of July, she would have a better idea about their future. About Renee and the kids. Undoubtedly, she wanted to marry Luke and start a family of their own. Or more like add to his already-made family, which would, in part, include Renee. A blended family.

  “I thought you looked forward to our daily trysts? Am I not keeping them fresh and exciting?” she teased, gyrating her hips against his pelvis.

  He raised her arms above her head, letting the weight of his body pin her to the bed. She sucked in a deep breath, reveling in the feel of him. “You’re trying to deflect using your luscious body and sultry voice. But I’m stronger and more controlled than you, and you know it.” His eyes turned dark, determined.

  “Dammit, Luke!” She pouted, turning her face to the side. Yes, Luke had such an impenetrable restraint that even her so-called “luscious body” couldn’t make him cave. “We agreed I had until the end of summer to set a date. Well, summer isn’t over; it’s only July. And right now, I’m focused on Brice’s birthday.”

  She wiggled her hands, trying to break free from his grasp. He didn’t yield.

  “When, Julia? Don’t hide behind a birthday, the res
ort events, or anything else. I want to set a date, and I want you in my bed every night.”

  “Why are you suddenly demanding? All the other times you’ve asked, you’ve accepted my response. Every time, Luke. What’s changed?” There she was trying to deflect again.

  “I’m not demanding. I’m asking you nicely. I even waited to broach the topic until after I made you cry out in ecstasy.” She rolled her eyes. Point made. “I bet the guests on the other side of the wall heard you loud and clear. ‘Oh, Luke! LUKE!’” he said, razzing her.

  “Stop it! Don’t toot your own horn!” She huffed, trying to break free from his grasp again. She hated to be teased about how loud she was during sex, and he knew it. A few weeks ago, she had tried to stay silent, but he’d managed to break her with his tongue between her legs. The thing was, she knew he loved hearing her, and she loved how he made her feel. Screams and all.

  One of these days she needed to weaken his restraint and control him for once.

  “You are so being demanding. Now let go of me!” Suddenly, his eyes twinkled as he grew hard against her pelvis. “Seriously, Luke!”

  “Let me show you demanding.” He rolled to his back and pulled her onto him. “Ride me…hard,” he commanded, gripping her thighs.

  Even when he frustrated her, he knew exactly how to turn her on. No other man could change her mood within seconds from exasperated to sexually enthralled. Luke was an expert on everything Julia.

  “Oh, well, if you insist.”

  Luke barely gave her enough time to roll a condom on his length before he grabbed her ass, sliding into her. She pressed the palms of her hands against his chest, tossed her head back, and rode Luke, hitting all her favorite spots until her head exploded. Not once did she have to worry about him. “I’m only along for the ride,” he would say.

  Setting the date had momentarily been put on hold. As always, Luke didn’t push the subject with her but acquiesced when she balked. How in the world had she gotten so lucky?